A Happiness Journey

The Universal Law of Correspondence

You may have heard the statement, “your outer world is a reflection of your inner world” (I know I’ve spoken about this concept before) or maybe “As above, so below” or “As within, so without”. They all respond to the Universal law of Correspondence.


The idea that the state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of the state of your mind. You can see this law at work everywhere you look. Take a tree for example. When you see a strong and lush tree, you know that it must have a good healthy system of roots receiving nourishment from the soil. When you see a plant that is dying or diseased, you know that its outer appearance is the result of something that’s going on within it.


I’ve spoken at length around some of these principles before, but as humans learn through repetition, I never have any issues with going over the important stuff again.


Unhappiness isn’t an emotion. Unhappiness is an emotion + our unhappy story. Without the story, the thoughts going around in our heads, the emotion is quite literally just a sensation we feel in our body, whether that be a flutter in our stomach, a tightening in our muscles, a tingle in our throat etc. It is the thought we have that creates the environment, that creates the lens through which we see everything.


I have been thinking a lot recently about how there are always 3 sides to a story. What ‘actually’ happened (the circumstance that cannot be argued, it is fact and irrefutable), how person A perceived what happened, and how person B perceives what has happened. The problem is the lens. The lens created by our thoughts that govern our whole lives. It’s how we see EVERY situation, how we see every exchange, how we see our relationships, our jobs, our kids, our health, EVERYTHING.


When I think of myself as ‘little me’, the victim to my circumstance, I go through life feeling like everything happens to me. When I have this lens that I am not good enough, that nothing I do is ever right, or ever good enough, or that I don’t deserve love or happiness, then this will be how I will look at everything. My confirmation bias will then cause me to go looking for everything that confirms this belief that I have in myself. “This always happen to me” will be my mantra. “People always treat me like that”, “this happens all the time”, “this is the way it’s always been”, “see, I told you”.


As Wayne Dyer beautifully said “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.


I want to talk about the model again, that I spoke about in a previous blog.


First there is a Circumstance. This is fact, it isn’t subjective, it is irrefutable. It is just what happened or what is. Not right or wrong, good or bad. Just is.

Then there is the Thought that we have about the circumstance.

This creates the Emotion that we experience in our bodies.

The emotion drives how we respond, the Actions we take.

The actions we take create the Results in our life.


The beautiful thing that I love about this model is that it so clearly highlights the fact that I am in control of my life. I can control my thoughts, how I respond to every circumstance, therefore I can control my life. I can’t control what happens to me in my life, but I can control how I respond to it, and how I feel about it. Easier said than done, of course, but definitely worth my time and practice.


It also shows me that all my effort that I put on my external situation is effort misplaced. If I just direct all that effort, and hard work on my internal landscape, then the results will speak for themselves and will radiate into every external part of my life. If I focus on my relationship, then my relationship may improve, but at the expense of my job. If I focus on my job then my family might suffer. If I focus on how to manage my thoughts, and thus my emotions, and responses, then EVERY aspect of my life will improve.


I think for me the hardest thing I first experienced when I started practicing this was releasing my victim archetype, my blame on others. Once I took full responsibility for everything, and could blame no one else, things got gnarly for a while (and still happens now when I’m being unconscious). I had to accept that ‘terrible’ things that happened in my life were just circumstances. Things that happened a long time ago weren’t happening to me anymore. It was my thoughts about these things that I deemed as terrible that were keeping them alive in my present life and affecting everything I did. It was so much easier to blame other people in my life for things that had happened, and were happening, than really look at my part in it, how I was attracting those situations, how I was responding to them by the way I was thinking, how I was contributing to those situations and the vibration I was putting out. We manifest from where we are, so if you’re attracting the same situations over and over again, and you’re attracting the same people over and over again, then you need to look at where you’re at in your thoughts, actions and vibrations that are constantly pulling in these circumstances. And if something is happening that you can’t control, then how are you choosing to think about it? Let’s face it, it’s so much easier to blame someone else than take responsibility for it ourselves. Isn’t it weird that we would rather choose to hand our power to someone else, then keep it for ourselves? I still find it odd that I would rather blame someone else for my unhappiness or for my shit day, than own it and change it for myself. Bizarre.


Because life is actually way simpler than we think it is, it actually gives us these beautiful signposts as to where we need to change our thoughts to improve our life. We don’t need to guess, the signposts are all there. We experience our own ego, our shadow, in the reflection of others. Someone pissing you off?? The thing they’re doing to annoy you, is the shadow aspect of yourself, that is in you, that you have rejected, that you need to look at. What you react to in others is also in you. If you didn’t have it in you, if you hadn’t disowned that aspect of your character, then it wouldn’t trigger you. Once you realise this, you may also realise that you were doing to others what you thought they were doing to you. Marianne Williamson says “only what you are not giving, is lacking in any situation”. What do you feel is being withheld from you? Praise? Validation? Love? Appreciation? Whatever you think people are withholding from you is what you’re withholding from yourself. You cannot receive what you do not give. See?? Correspondence. So, when you feel like you’re lacking in something, give it to yourself and to others. See what happens. The law of correspondence dictates that you will get back what you give. Feeling unloved? Think of ways you can show yourself love and show those around you love. See what happens. Feeling invalidated? Take that power back. Validate yourself. Validate others. See how you feel afterwards.


Do I constantly find myself feeling undervalued? Are people constantly taking the piss? Do I get taken advantage of all the time or do I feel like I’m just the doormat, constantly getting walked all over? I need to ask myself, if this is MY pattern, and this is the lens I see everything through, and these are the circumstances I am attracting to me, then what can I do to change that? How can I choose to see things differently to change my lens? How can I choose to react so that people start responding to me differently? How can I change my thoughts so I can feel differently about this situation? How can I change my vibration so that I’m starting to attract situations/people that are of a higher frequency?


Start looking at how you want to see the world. Look at what you truly desire and work backwards. If I wanted life X then what actions would I need to take? How would I need to feel about things to take those actions? How would I need to think to create those feelings?


Eckhart Tolle says “If peace is what you really want, then you will choose peace. If peace mattered more to you than anything else, and you truly knew yourself to be spirit rather than ‘little me’, you would remain non-reactive and absolutely alert when confronted with challenging people or situations”. I love this because it reminds me that I am in control. No one gets to ruin my day, that is my choice and my choice alone! It also means that if I want an epic life, of Rockstar proportions, then that is also my choice, and my choice alone. I am no victim of circumstance. I am the master of my destiny.


And how simple. All I have to do is change my thoughts. One tiny little thought at a time. That’s all.

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